NEW CYCLIST HANDBOOK
Hewitt, Ben (editor; Rodale Books, November 2005, ISBN 9781594863004)
Winter found me cycling down a service road on the Princes Highway, in the calm of the middle of the night, when two men leapt out of their car and chased after me on foot.
“Oi!” yelled one, “Oi! Stop you bastard!”
“Hey! Hey!” yelled the other.
The first man threw something. I couldn’t imagine what he could’ve had on hand.
When I stopped to ask what they wanted, they had no idea.
A moon that filled the whole sky looked down at the three of us frozen there in silence. They looked at each other. They looked at me. I looked at them.
“Uhm,” said the first man.
“Oh,” said the second.
After yelling their lungs out just a minute ago, they sounded almost embarrassed now.
“Can we have a go of your bike?” one asked, at last.
As I rode away, it dawned on me that two had chased me, and together: they would have to have discussed it before they commenced the chase. How could the conversation have unfolded?
“Look! A bicyclist!”
“Good lord!”
“I propose that we stop our muscle car and chase after it on foot for no reason.”
“Smashing! I can think of no more enchanting way to spend our evening. Moreover, might we not enliven the pursuit by yelling random abuse at intervals towards the rider?”
